I learned or remembered an important lesson this past week. That lesson is never let anyone dictate how you think of yourself, or better said, never let anyone set your level of self esteem. It is something that I should have known, but let myself get taken in again.
I let a co worker spout off his opinion about me (without fully considering the source), and I let that incident affect my self esteem for over a week. It was only after talking to Darcy, whose opinion I respect and know that when she lets me have it, I need to re evaluate my thought processes. That I realized what was affected my mood and how I thought of myself. I allowed someone else's opinion to be added to a slow month and before I knew it I was rethinking the whole Real Estate as a career thing.
I guess my point is this, ONLY TAKE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE THAT YOU RESPECT AND TRUST!!! Never let the little people that dwell in someone else's misery dictate anything to you. In fact, if at all possible, avoid them! That way, none of their negativity wears off on you! I realized again, how important it is to surround yourself with positive people, who care about you and your success. They are the only ones that I will give you what it is you need to keep going.
This Career is hard enough without the whiners and the doubters, stay away from them and the doom and gloomers! I am not saying hide your head in the sand, what I am saying is that not everyone has your best interest at heart when they offer some "constructive criticism" if there is such a thing. As we head towards the weekend, keep at, things have to pick up sometime!
If you're looking to buy or sell real estate in Cedar City, Utah; please give us a call. We would love to earn your business!
Tony -
I take a different angle here. The complainers, the whiners, the "Know it All Nellies," both agents and clients, will always be around no matter what you do.
It's how you REACT to them is what can be controlled. KNOW these criticisims WILL happen. Just get yourself better prepared to deal with them.
You'll feel better, get more sleep - and earn more income, because you'll be more confident in yourself and the way you run your business.
Easier said than done, I know - but you've got to have this Paradigm Shift inside you to get through the rough stuff.
And - GET COACHED! It really helps!
DEAN & DEAN'S TEAM CHICAGO
Thanks for the reponses, and Dean you are right, thanks for the advice!
Tony: Sometimes when people denigrate others it is for ulterior motives such as lack of self esteem, jealousy, or habit from bad parenting and poor choices of friendship. We must feel sorry for those who smite us, for they are the truly abject ones. We need to forgive them and win them over in our magnanimity, and if we can't do so by that method then we did our best.
What are ethics at the root? Aren't they really unchanging principles that do not let us apply rules piecemeal or in a prejudicial fashion?
I'd admonish you to be careful when you label others:"little people"; "whiners" "doubters"; and the like. Do you dislike someone just because they don't have the same skill set you do? Do you discriminate against others because they can't cook as well, speak as well, or drive as well? Name calling and labeling is a dangerous game, do you really want to embark on that course? Isn't that the anti-thesis of your post? When you let those thoughts rule your mind you are inviting catastrophe, because then your judgement is clouded and you adopt an posture of pretense and condescension.
When you feel you come up against others that lack your same social intelligence, tell yourself this "I'm glad I don't do that" "I feel so sorry for him/her" "She/he really needs acceptance" "Maybe he/she's had a really bad day." and try to find the others good qualities. Try to help those poor folks if you can, and if you can't you did your best and your personal ethics remain intact. We all crave acceptance, some just go about it in the wrong ways.
So much great advice here Tony.
I realized last year I was reading my 'bad press' from someone I didn't respect anymore and ultimately that person showed their true colors.
When someone makes me feel badly, there may be a kernel of truth in the remark. Because as Dean said you can only control your reaction. But how it is delivered is the most crucial point. And if they gave me direction in how I may improve myself. If not, I take the criticism and ask my core group for ways to improve. These phenomenal people are the inspiration for my changes. The 'toxic' people motivate me, but ultimately, because of the delivery they don't change me.
And i just read this in AR a few days ago (Motivation vs. Inspiration?). I can't remember from who, but thank you...again!
This is something that I really need to get past. I try very hard but their are just some people that I react to before thinking. I have a great leader who never lets you know how he judges people, he listens and then gives advise. The advise is something that helps not hurts. I want to be more like that. Thank you for writiing and I will keep checking back for comments.
Always believe in yourself and know your heart. Sometimes I do the same thing. I just try to stay away from the negative people, and seek advice from people who really know me and I really respect. Those people just have to put people down to feel better about themselves.
All the best!
The minute you take anyone's subjective words to heart, you give your power away--and to someone who doesn't deserve it.
Think about what Denis Waitley said in one of his motivational speeches, "That's how you know you're getting ahead, when you come under fire!"